Inch by inch

I wrote this two months ago … and here you finally have it.
Yes, things remain very inconsistent over here … what can I say …

A car pick up line
Winding, meandering
Car after car, inching forward
A place I never thought I would find myself again

But there are many changes
New roads to travel

A new world in this changing year
And now this unfamiliar place
Diversity, a rainbow of faces
Searching for this smile …

Sisters From Another Mister

This morning there was quiet and reserve
Both nervous for this day
Quickly caught up in a room full of hands raised
Pick me, pick me
Excitement of a new girl, where will she sit
Who can show her where to go
Who will show her the car line up today.
An endless show off hands, and inside, a smile

I sat in my car for several minutes
Breathing, slow and steady
Then I drove away
Tears streaming down my face, feeling both defeated and relieved at the same time

Now, hours later, I scan this colorful crowd
Finally I see her little face, sitting between two girls – pretending to hide herself
But sneaking a peek to check the progress of my car
I catch glimpses of her smile each time

She opens the door
Declares this to be ‘the worst day evah’
but nothing can hold back her giggles
I had a great time
and I have a note …
a shared telephone number
from her very new friend

I breathe
The car moves forward.
We all move forward
Inch by inch
Onward
New days always lie ahead

And behind me in that car, so much chatter, and joy

So much more than what lies behind us
The dread of what is still to come
But in this moment

Inch by inch
Only forward

 

And as always

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Comments

  1. Nicole, we don’t know each other, but I’m praying for you and your girls… I have been in a similar place. Inch by inch, day by day. The process takes time, but eventually the pain begins to subside. People told me it would. I didn’t believe them. Now I know it’s true. Someday, so will you.

  2. Tears. So glad she had a good day.

  3. I’m so glad she made a new friend. So essential! It’s hard that slow going is the only way forward in the most difficult of times.

    You’re brave and worthy, my friend.

  4. The pace of your poem drew me right in to your story – as did that beautiful smile. Who could resist wanting to be her friend? I’d give her my phone number too! :)

    Here’s hoping that the days ahead are smooth ones.

  5. Love this! Thanks for your honesty b/c I completely understand. My girls are in their 20′s, but I remember letting them go (sorta). It’s scary to fit in a new situation. God bless both of you!

  6. I love the way you have broken down this very big change into a poem. And I LOVE visiting here; it’s so pretty!! Wishing you the best of luck as you continue to go forward.

  7. Oh my goodness.

    Is there anything we worry about more than the happiness of our children? The fear that they won’t have a friend, fit in, belong? Won’t feel the welcome of someone else’s bright smile…

    I’d gladly give up my own security for theirs.
    But that’s not how it works, is it?

    And you’re working on your own security, too.
    What an overwhelming time. So you are wise to take it in small measures.

    Doable. Full of small achievements and big ones.
    A shared telephone number.

    Yes. That’s worth a mile.

  8. Those first days are always the hardest. Sorry to hear that things aren’t going as well as you’d hoped. Inch by inch… that’s all you can do! Hope things get better.

  9. Inch by inch. That’s all we can do to move through life. I’m glad she was able to make a new friend so easily. I’m sure that helped to heal both of your hearts.

  10. This sounds like a hard and yet truly successful day…hugs!

    • Bit by bit for our aching and hopeful Mama hearts right? We will hold out til the end of the school year and then as my oldest says – let us see what this year brings …

  11. Inch by inch. This is the way life works.

    Getting that shared telephone number from a new friend is a big thing.

    • Yes, it definitely took the edge of her little scared heart that day – open arms by another that are welcoming eases the transition xxx

  12. School can be fun, challenging, exciting, heartbreaking, boring, and so much more all at once.
    Every day is a new day, a fresh start, and full of possibilites. I hope that today is a good day… for everyone.

  13. I am so glad that she was welcomed and included right away (who could resist that smile, right?) That must have been at least a small weight off your mama heart. Good luck with those inches. One day soon you’ll look back and realize that putting them all together have gotten you much farther than you could have ever expected.

    • She really does have the best smile – sadly, lately way too much scowling when dealing with her Mom who apparently is not making all right in her world. Sigh.

  14. There’s no doubt in my mind that she’ll continue to succeed and fit in at her school! Miss you!

    • actually, it is not going as well as I had hoped as a distraction for her so next year is very much up in the air.
      On a more positive note – you and I need lunch xxx

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